Co-hosts Arik and Garrett remain on special assignment in Las Vegas. Which means: no yukatas, no chapkas, no chest hair shrubbery, no off-key Prince karaoke. Instead, we present to you the mellifluous radio sounds of special guest Carla from Burnt Korn, Alabama, and sound engineer Pauly from Bali.

What do we hate today? There’s a bone in my canine, dear Liza, dear Liza! For dog’s sake! Don’t feed other people’s pooches!

Also, Carla has had it with Gringo Zuckerberg and the new Skynet policy to survey anything a person might have typed three years ago and throw you in the social media pokey—even if autocorrect is to blame for changing your “mediation with your ex” to, um, “masturbation with your ex.” (No one’s getting off in that courtroom.)

What’s worse is that these megalithic social media companies have no human beings (not even in foreign-based call centers) to whom one might present one’s case for wrongful judgement. We now live at the whim of HAL 9000’s cross-wired, halfwit toaster brother, Walt. Thank goodness there’s a Facebook group for this: Baby Boomers Who Hate Books.

Finally, why the holy ribeye must vegans constantly announce themselves as vegans?! “Hi, I’m Bob, I’m a vegan. Did I tell you I was a vegan? Hey, have you heard the good news about veganism? Oh, and I’m a raw vegan. That means that when something falls from a tree, I flagellate myself with it until I’m bleeding. Then I dip the twig in my own red juices and eat it. Yum-vegan-yum!”

Hey, waiter! Can I get a veggie burger with three strips of bacon and a side of Catholic guilt?

#hooters #happyendingsunday

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