MEET THE HATE NAPKIN GANG!


ARIK BJORN

ARIK BJORN was a 2016 Democratic Party candidate for U.S. Congress, and won one of the closest federal primaries in U.S. history. He is the author of eight books, including the novel The Prodigal, as well as a book about his congressional campaign. He works as a public librarian and a night owl Uber driver. Arik hates lots of things, to be sure, but more than anything, he loves being a father.


GARRETT KELLERHALS

GARRETT KELLERHALS used to be a single dude, searching for a source of joy on this crazy planet. Now he’s a devoted husband and father of two wonderful human youths. Also, he caretakes an untold number of cats and dogs, due to his spouse’s untreatable condition that compels her to adopt everything that barks or meows. In addition to making meaningless observations about the maladies of the Universe, Garrett is employed as a building automation systems project engineer. (Trust us, you don’t want to hate that.) Garrett extends his dearest thanks to all family, friends—even foes—for inspiring him in all things irksome.


CARLA FROM BURNT KORN, ALABAMA

Carla is the manager of the local Dairy Queen, the life-blood of the town. She moonlights as the editorial manager of the Burnt Corn Register & Tribune. She is the mother of one son, Little Cletus, and is a keen observer of life in small town Southern ’Merica. Carla is a bit of an anomaly in her corner of America, as her parents were no relation to one another and none of her three ex-husbands were cousins—though two were brothers.

Pauly FROm Bali

Sound Engineer.