Carla from Burnt Korn, Alabama, reaches into the THN mailbag and shares the epistolary detestation of Broke Ass Kevin in Bastrop, Texas. He’s tired of speed traps and cops who can’t cut nobody no slack. I mean, what the blazes is the anti-socialist Lone Star State gonna do with $280 in fines, anyway? “Add another pylon to The Wall,” co-host Garrett, who isn’t here, supposes.

Sound engineer Pauly from Bali jumps in with a tale of little guy heroism. Years back, the Town of Ridgeland, South Carolina, a blip on the I-95 Corridor, was home to the most notorious, illegal speed trap in these here United States. Here’s how, armed with just a FOIA request, two middle fingers and a banana yellow stucco news van, Pauly from Bali took it down.

Speaking of illegal traps, co-host Arik jumps into the hate ring with a recent yarn of hooker sting hell. Poor guy. He’s been single for 11 years. Finally, an attractive young lady spies him on a dating site. When he drives to meet her, he discovers she lives in a hotel. What follows is an epic rant against cocaine—or is it ARM & HAMMER Baking Soda?—manic “bunk mates” and prostitution entrapment.

Former prison matron, Carla, opines: “That’s what you get for trying to reform a fake hooker and send her to college. The cops were probably afraid to book you for fear you’d question their life choices!”

Apropos, Pauly from Bali adds one last thing to The Hate Napkin. “I hate the credit cards they use on those coke stashes in fake hooker busts. You know, they charge 30% APR on those things!”

Oh, hey, folks! It’s the sheriff’s department! Gotta go!

#tryingtogetherwet

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