Hail, hail! The whole “Hate Napkiner” gang is here! But first, a commercial break. Let’s hear a word from our sponsors. We have truckloads of erectile dysfunction pills and Matthew McConaughey luxury cars for sale! Come on, Hulu, enough with the ads! We’re already paying for a subscription.
Next, when did we start giving killers and sociopaths all the glory? Shouldn’t crime investigators get top billing? When did TV shows switch from “Touched by an Angel” to “Touched by an Uncle”?
Co-host Garrett is pissed off at pissing contests. Speaking of pissed: Carla from Burnt Corn, Alabama, can’t take it no more. When you’re in public, get control of your wilding children! Or Carla’s going to turn them into chili dogs at the local DQ Brazier. As for crying children on airplanes: what do you think cargo is for?
Finally, what’s an episode of The Hate Napkin without everyone drinking from annoying gift shop coffee mugs? From Memphis to Broadway to Petra, we’ve got ‘em! But Carla’s Atlanta glory hole mocha mug steals the show! She assures everyone it’s been test-driven at every major truck stop in the Deep South. And as sound engineer Pauly from Bali notes: “If you like cream in your coffee…”
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