Carla from Burnt Corn, Alabama, gags with hate from folks who drown themselves in Old Spice cologne. Meanwhile, sound engineer Pauly from Bali is sick to death hearing people talk about their chakras. “I want my first and second eye opened by my morning coffee—who cares about my third eye!”

Co-host Arik poses a question to the group: what one food item belongs on the hate napkin? The end result: an egg salad, Brussels sprouts, succotash casserole dipped in lima bean juice. Bon appétit!

Next, the THN gang stumbles upon the ultimate conspiracy theory. The Illuminati has been working for centuries to foil society with idiotic designs of everything from poorly-placed lamp switches to oversized triangular tortilla chips.

“No offense, but” Carla hates vague-booking. We can’t tell you why, but we’ve been crying for hours. We might just have to shut down the show. Also, our chakras aren’t doing so well. So please send us your thoughts and prayers, and stay tuned for next week. Or maybe not.

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