Why hate anal leakage, when you can despise dry heaving? So says freshly sober co-host Arik, who starts to confess that he’s an—when he’s interrupted by sound engineer Pauly from Bali, who hates public confessions from guilty Catholics.

Next, Carla from Burt Korn, Alabama, reads an uproarious letter from listener Brenda in Kalamazoo, Michigan. Brenda’s detestation of camouflage clothing leads the THN gang on a rant of camo couture idiocy, from ladies at the Walmart donning pink fatigues to camo-capped rednecks driving land yachts. Also, all these desert wars have simply ruined the jungle camo industry!

Arik shows off his Japanese yukata and laments that there are no Caucasian kaftans or other kinds of flowing male dresswear. Carla and Pauly suggest that Arik don a cassock and take advantage of priestly discounts on dry cleaning and lattes. Arik wishes the U.S. fashion industry would create a full-length wifebeater.

Finally, Pauly stuns all with a glorious denunciation of THE WEBINAR!

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