Co-host Arik begins our 40th Episode with a travelogue tale of the Phallus Museum in Reykjavik, Iceland. Sadly, the female equivalent in nearby Keflavik is very hard to find—it’s just a hole in the wall. BA-DUM-CHING!
Anyway, if you ever want to know what a pig dick looks like, head to Iceland—or as special guest Carla from Burnt Korn, Alabama, says, “Save your money. Here’s my ex-husband’s address.”
Sound engineer Pauly from Bali wipes the floor with the Napkin of Hate—and it comes up covered in seafood on pizza. From clamshells that chip your teeth to ocean bed tubers to barnacle balls—enough! What the hell happened to good ol’ pepperoni and sausage? Folks, it’s time to reclaim mainland meat on ‘za!
Next, Arik leaps to the front of the line with a prodigious candidate of hate: why the hell are box stores like Target scanning our driver’s licenses when we buy alcohol—to say nothing of products like Benadryl?! It’s one thing to check someone’s age, but why are private enterprises amassing databases of our purchase of Barefoot wine? Carla’s take: “They assume we’re all running meth labs. Heck, in Burnt Korn, we all are.”
Arik steps to the plate again: dog owners who live in apartments that cannot accommodate large breeds. “If your domicile can’t handle a cow or a flock of sheep, then don’t make a Chow Chow live there.” Carla chimes in with her hatred of predatory late-night vet clinics that charge double one’s mortgage payment for basic care. Pauly: “If it costs more than $50, eat the animal or put it down.” Hmm.
Let’s welcome our new sponsor: THN Vet-in-the-Box and Hot Dog Stand! “Our dogs aren’t kickable, but they are lunchable!”
Finally, after a discussion of teen irresponsibility and lame excuses, we introduce another new sponsor: THN Crusty Towels! “Serious, mom, a bird flew threw the window and crapped on my face towel!”
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