Co-hosts Arik and Garrett are ready to rip each other to shreds on the gridiron of hate—except no one can keep a straight face. (Failure to report!) Also, it appears that someone spiked the Gatorade cooler! So Arik throws up his hands (false start!), and provides a little trip down memory lane to refresh listeners on THN origins.
Arik throws the red flag at the yellow flag: he’s tired of the vast majority of penalties in football—especially holding and pass interference. Garrett declares this the ultimate face palm episode (face mask!); meanwhile, special guest Carla from Burnt Korn, Alabama, and Pauly from Bali, joining us off the coast of Thailand, crawl into soft spaces to take naps. Really? A sport ball episode?!
“Listen, it runs both ways!” Arik bellows. “Who cares if you’re holding?!”
Carla awakes from her slumber, “Um, the person being held.”
Pauly from Bali suggests that a football field without holding would just become a massive hairy man hugging contest. (Illegal touching!)
The group finally gains some down field momentum with a discussion of Janet Jackson’s infamous Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction. Folks, why are we so uptight about boobs? It’s not like Justin Timberlake was poised to suckle. (Illegal face to the chest!)
Pauly from Bali gets a carry up the middle with the topic of man boobs. “Sometimes I just look in the mirror and see another sad face looking back. If you have man boobs, you actually should hate yourself.“ (Unnecessary self-loathing!)
Carla saves the day with something legitimate for The Hate Napkin: people who are consistently late. (Constant delay of game!) It’s not all about you, people! If you’re late, you’re just rude.
Postgame Wrap-up: If you’re just tuning in—well, you missed a total disaster of an episode, plus a two-minute drill discussion on public oral sex. Still, you’re late, so you’re an ass. Hopefully you’re not too late to catch a hall of fame THN zinger: “You couldn’t just say co…”—(Illegal lips to the loins!)
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