Co-host Garrett still ain’t here, but special guest Carla from Burnt Korn, Alabama, is! There ain’t no hospital beds ‘vailable cuz Omicron, and she ain’t takin’ no chances. Live with it, Man Babies! She’s got a full face of new pearly whites. So let’s get started!

Co-host Arik goes apoplectic over having to watch ads in the movie theatre, when he’s already mortgaged his house for tickets and a tub o’ popcorn. When are the American people going to rise up—no, not you, Paul Reubens. Holy—if your protest lasts longer than four hours, please call a doctor.

Arik’s movie theater rant is followed by a diatribe against gas station commercials that play whilst one fills up the tank. “I’m not a veteran, but don’t I deserve a discount for having to suffer through fake news bullshit while I’m pumping?”

Plus, pennies are a waste of time. No, serious, the cost of dentures is maddening! Stop it! So many dongs in sound engineer Pauly from Bali’s face! And Bangkok bahts in his lap! Man babies everywhere! Goodnight, Gracie!

Today’s final psychological trickery: “All things oral in Mexico are cheaper.”

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