Category: Episodes

Co-host Garrett is taking the night off—again. This time, he’s at the ballpark watching his beloved Atlanta Braves lose to the lowly Colorado Rockies. That said, he hates ballpark beer prices. Seriously, who wants to pay $15 for urinalysis in a plastic cup?
Carla from Burnt Korn, Alabama, is fed up with social media questionnaires. So, PLEASE, tell us about your love life with the fourth photo on your phone, then make a choice: either the suicide hotline or some braided rope.
Speaking of asses. What’s with one-ply toilet paper? Do the ultra-rich have four-ply, or do they pay other folks to wipe? Also, why aren’t there poop scenes in the arts? Carla doesn’t give a crap, while our poorly-endowed sound engineer Pauly from Bali makes it plain: to bidet or not bidet, that is the question.
Finally, Pauly from Bali sounds off on instant coffee. While Little Cletus refills mama’s coffee with “heavy cream,” the THN gang agrees: well-crafted bitter is best.
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Right from the gates, the “joy of hate” is alive and kicking. First, special guest Carla from Burnt Corn, Alabama, wins the brownie. Just don’t ask her why she looks so tired—unless you want that brownie shoved up your nostril.
Then Little Cletus drops by. He’s the, er, THN water boy. (Thank God the FCC can’t shut us down.) Next: why doesn’t the THN gang hate the Kardashians? Come on, talk about hate canon fodder! Never forget, “Indifference is true spite.”
To mansplain or not mansplain? That is the question. Carla says never. But sound engineer Pauly from Bali just can’t help himself. Neither can co-host Arik. Carla’s frozen bitch stare wins the debate.
Moving on: what’s the relationship between pickup trucks, sexual swordsmanship, and the lucky truckers who deliver big balls in F-350s? And, finally, when the hell is class picture day going to be canned? Apparently when Evolution gets around to ridding humanity of the nuisance of nose hair.
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This episode is sponsored by
· Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast.
https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thehatenapkin/support